


Pandora's Box

by Marion



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 10:36:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/797551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marion/pseuds/Marion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair is about to give up hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pandora's Box

## Pandora's Box

#### by Marion

  
Jim and Blair are not mine, if they were, they'd have more fun!  
Not betaed. Just a little snippet, so any mistakes are my own fault.  
This was an obsenad, but I thought I'd share it with those of you not on Senad.  
This story is a sequel to: 

* * *

What do you do when you have no hope anymore? Do you fake it, thinking that maybe, if you pretend long enough, you'll convince yourself there is hope, that there is something worthwhile going on for? What do you do when the person you want, and need, and love more than life itself, doesn't want, need or love you anymore - if he ever did? 

God, I wish I had some answers! 

Can I leave him? Leave behind this home, this... world we've created. Could I move out? 

No. Even though staying is killing me slowly, the thought of leaving him, never being even _this_ close to him, leaves me cold, as if I know it would destroy my soul. The thought of leaving him is more painful than staying here. But putting on this front all the while... knowing that if I said anything, he'd shut down and, sooner or later, he'd ask me to move... it's like a creeping death. 

Sooner or later, something is going to break, and I dread that it'll be me, or worst, him. 

* * *

I wish I could say want he wants me to. Oh, I know what he wants, what he needs. I know because I want that too. God, how much I want him! He thinks I don't need him. The truth is I need him too much. 

He gave up his whole fucking life for me and what have I to offer in return? 

I can't say the words, can't show him how much I love him. I've failed so very many times before. My relationships are total disaster areas. I can't afford to lose him, I just can't. But I'm scared shitless that I'll screw up again. 

I watch him, when he thinks I'm not watching him. This limbo, this status quo, is killing his energy, his fire, his light. It can't go on. Before too long, he _will_ leave, he'll have to, because, without meaning to, I am driving him away. This situation between us is killing him. 

So I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. 

Come on, Ellison, take that bull by the horns and tell him. 

"Blair?" His heart leaps when I say his name and I smile to try and reassure him, thankful that he's not the sentinel as my own heart is jumping. "We need to talk...." 

* * *

End 

Pandora's Box by Marion: marion.sherringham@ntlworld.com  
Author and story notes above.

Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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